The chill of loneliness

​Today I am lonely. Most days I am so busy with my everyday life that I don’t even notice I’m alone. 

I have children who love me but sometimes can’t stand me (pretty typical with teens). I have family who care for me and would do anything for me… I just wish there weren’t so many miles between us. I have the members of my church and of my community who smile and wave and engage in small talk from time to time. I also have those few friends who offer a warm embrace and a sincere “How are you?” when running into them in this small town I call home. Friends at work miss my laughter and my smile when I’m not there. And I know that I have a Father in Heaven who is always there for me.

For this I feel a sense of guilt when I allow this empty space in my heart to ache and weep. Today I grieve time that’s passed, friends that have come and gone, relationships failed and my youth slipping away. I have not a hand to hold through this. These days of loneliness don’t come far too often but when they do they hit me in the center turning my spirits a damp, bluish grey. We were meant to have companionship, we were not meant to be alone in this. ‘Patients. Learn from these trials. Enjoy this gift of solace.’ I try to console the murmuring throbs filled with tears comming from the empty space within my chest.

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